沉默不代表我不痛，我不痛眼泪就不会流……

沉默不代表我不痛……因为不痛眼泪就不会流……
这几天心情真的很糟糕……
又要忙功课，又要在家受人气……
想跟亲爱的他聊聊……
好想与他分享我的一切……
但他却忙得连几分钟的时间都无法给我……

昨晚告诉他我心情低落……
跟他诉说了小部分的原因，他却说是我自找的……
说我幼稚，不够成熟……
说我已经是大人了，该有大人的样子……

是他叫我有什么事都要对他说……
不要藏在心里……
但每次说了都惹他不高兴……
嫌我烦……叫我不要再唠叨……
我这样也不是，那样也不是……
你告诉我，到底应该怎么做你才会满意……

我知道你最近压力大……
也忙得很累……
但同样的……虽然我还在读书……
可我也有我的压力，也有我累的时候啊……

以往每次你对我诉说你的不高兴……
无论我当时心情如何……
即使心情很低落，很糟……
我也都会好好聆听……
从来不会嫌你唠叨，嫌你烦啊~
还反过来安慰你，开解你……
但为什么……我心情低落的时候……
你却只会嫌我唠叨……

你说我幼稚……
我自问比起很多同年龄的女人……
我已算够成熟……
你说我不够体谅你……
我自问我给你够多的空间……
从来不乱乱烦你……
我也只是很简单的，在我心情低落的时候你能陪我聊聊天……
让我听听你的声音……这样就够了……
我的要求很过分吗？？

你总是说你累……
每晚回到家，总在第二封简讯就说你累了，要睡了……
你知道吗，我们已经有多久没有好好聊过了？
我不是不能体谅你的累……
但为什么,你明明可以早点关店回家休息……
你却待在店里跟朋友聊天……
既然可以待多1小时的时间跟朋友聊天……
但为什么我只要区区的5分钟，你却不给我？？

你觉不觉得，你重视你的朋友，你的兄弟……
远比我多……
我甚至怀疑……在你的生命中，你需要我吗？
我似乎很多余……你不觉得吗？？

你心痛过吗？
你懂心痛的感觉吗？
你知道吗，在你昨晚的简讯里……
字字句句都刺痛了我的心……
我的心好痛好痛……

以往心情低落，有什么不开心……
都能跟你说，跟你分享……
但现在，我却只能一个人默默地躲在被里哭……
你知道我有多害怕那种孤独的感觉吗？？

…………………………………………………………………

我真的无言了……

tired~ tired~

it has been a few days since my previous blog..
had been so lazy recentli to post any blogz..

today i went for a hair cut..
coz i cant tahan wif my damn long n messy and heavy hair nemore..
finali got it short agen and feel my head so light now..
plan to keep it long ...but end up..bcom short agen..nvm lar..
quite lik it tho..

i 心血来潮 go read thru my dear blogz jz nw..
read thru hw he announce tat we'r 2geta agen..
read thru hw he said bout life at those days..
hw sweet of him tat time..

duno if tat he's been too bz..or tat we hv been 2geta for quite sumtims le..
so no more those sweet wordz..or shud said..lesser...

hv been so tired recentli..
duno y jz seems din get enuf slp all da time..
oO..fast fast holiday lar..
i wan holiday!!!!!!

pekchek~

i was wondering, hw come ppl in kuching macam so takut to give way to people while reverse or driving..macam they stop down for a while da car will rosak lik tat..

sat morning..is a day wen i can slp late late..but..so sad..i hv2 go to colej in da morning to c my lecturer and show him my assignment for finalyze..
howeva..i din get to find him wen i reach my colej..wondering wher has he hide..owez fake me..
nasib..i met our tutor..so i jz showed him..
tis 2 lecturer n tutor..memang we so pekchek of them..coz both of them wan sumtin diff..weneva tis lecturer say ok..da otha one say not ok..hardli they can achieve the same mutual recognition..
so we s student pengsan lor~ hehe :p
pray pray..hope tat in da future i wont face tis kind of customer lar..haha :p

well..ledi pekchek for da whole morning..
lagi..after tapao..wen i wana reverse my car..those stupid car jz not willing to give a way..
i ledi halfway out of da road..by den they jz turn their steering so hard to squeeze through behind my car..wtf!!
stop for a while..wait for a while so susah meh??
memang dun understand those ppl here...

1st...

After 1 week Raya holiday..iM finali baCk to kuChing agEn..
gona start wif da stupidz n buNchhh of assignmEnt..
it's so dAmn tiring man..reli dUn fEel lik studyin anymOre...

jZ bcOz of da sTupid *tissue paper* i hv2 tahan anotha 1/2year ++...
cAn liCt jz giVe me my Stupid tiSsue rOlls...n so tat i can stOp my tiring cOlej lifE..

AFtr tiS trip baCk to bRunei..i fOund tat i enjOyz bRunEi's lifE so muCh mOre dEn dA lifE in kuChing..ppL ovEr thR, thEir sTyle..thEir lifEstylEe..n evRytin thR is muCh mOre suitablE to mEeee dEn anytin elsE hEre..

aLthO it's jz a 1 wEek tRip..bUt da 1 wEek of bRunEi's trip is so meaningful..n so 充实。
at 1st bfor i bk to bru..i planned to finish part of my assignment..but end up..i turn to work at snowhouse..n i did nth of my assignment..haha :p but i noe tat i can finish my asignment..tat's y i've no much worries...

lAStnite i was rushing wif my cv..which was tot to b submitted by today..but den lecturer is on leave so it's postponed to monday.. wat de...
i've found tat tis Sem we'v reli such big loAdz of woRkz to do..
it's like we're dOin 2 or 3 semester's workz in 1 sEmester..
Omg~ lecturer all tot we r suPerman..hOpefuli i can finish all my workz on time..
i dun wana repeat any single modulEs..so pray for me..come on~

1st day..im back to my life wifout dear dear by my side agEn..
it's cOuntin doWn dunO of hw maNy dAyz to our nExt meEtin..
hoPefuli wud b reli sOon..
aFter cOming bCk from tis trip baCk to bRu..i fOund tat i miSs him mOre..
i wiSh to sTAy wif him mOre..but no chOice..i've to get da tissue rolls dEn i can balik..

oh well..hv to back to da aSsignmEnt stack agEn.. T.T